Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Organization Adage

If everything has its place and everything is in its place, you are less likely to lose things.   #ADHDteensRULE

Want vs Need

We have enough for everything we need, but we don't have enough for everything we want. #ADHDteensRULE

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


Levels of grounding: PHYSICAL

Level l
Come straight home from school.
No going out except with permission.
Friends at our house okay
No sleepovers

Level ll
Come straight home from school.
No going out
No friends at our house
No sleepovers

Level lll
Come straight home from school.
No going out.
No friends at our house
No sleepovers.
No media.

Levels of grounding: MEDIA

Level l
No tv/Xbox/Wii
Phone and text within standard hours

Level ll
No tv/Xbox/Wii
Phone and text within standard hours
No wireless

Level lll
No tv/Xbox/Wii
Phone and text within standard hours
No wireless, no computer
No texting

Thursday, December 19, 2013

To do:

I want to write. I want to draw beautiful words. I want to provoke and inspire. I want to raise questions. I want to connect with you. I want to contribute. I want to create meaning. I want to write.

I want to sew. I want to collect buttons and beads and notions. I want to draw feelings with thread. I want to speak with my grandmothers' craft. I want to make crazy connections between us. I want to sew.

I want to paint. I want to spread the pigment across the rough paper. I want to immerse in myself within the puddle of color. I want to show you another way of seeing. I want to see your reaction. I want to talk with pictures. I want to paint.

I want to take pictures. I want to capture a new perspective. I want to show you my views. I want saturate the pixels. I want to tell a story. I want to take pictures.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Notice me!

Inspired by Jodie Foster's Golden Globe remarks

I'm not ashamed, I love to filter my photos. // the cropping, the framing, the saturation. // each with its own emotion and visual lux. // an embellishment created for each of you, my followers. // whether friend or family or stranger. // sending each one out hoping to connect with you. // your likes thrill me shamelessly. // I go trolling for hash tag comments. // yearning to move you. // I want to touch your awe. // find transcendence with a stranger. // notice me! #

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Courageous Conversations

Somewhere along the way through motherhood, I missed out on an important meme, Courageous Conversations. Sure, I’d heard the term, but I didn’t realize it was capitalized.

I bet I’m not much different from the rest of America. I have a vague idea it was a phrase Obama said, and one that many of my “culturally competent” friends will drop into our conversation, signaling they are in the tribe.

I haven’t read the book and I didn’t Google it before beginning my thoughts. My jumping off point today was the article in Seattle Times today regarding a US Department of Education probe into discrimination in the classroom. When I finished it, I heard “courageous conversations” ringing in my mind.

Before speaking further, I must identify myself to anyone who has not met me. I am a divorced white mother of a mixed race 13 year-old black son who is at the racial identity phase of development.

I wanted Son to read the article, of course, but knew that was not going to happen. Instead I reread it underlining quotes and data I wanted to share with both Son and his teaching team at the meeting about his attitude tomorrow afternoon. (Spot on timing, Seattle Times.)

While there have been no suspensions at our house, there have been plenty of lunch detentions. Plenty. Lunch detention doesn’t sound like much, but think about Son’s perception that others are getting away with just a talking to.

“[He] has heard countless stories of black students who receive harsher punishments than white students for infractions that seemed identical.” “Yeah, so, I already knew that,” says Son.

“Some of the biggest disparities show up in schools with relatively small numbers of black students.” There are just 5 blacks in Son’s grade. Five.

“Where the racial disparity kicks in, all the discipline data says, is when you look at subjective reasons for discipline, things like disrespect or being disruptive, excessive noise, or loitering.”

Some of Son’s white female teachers have found him disruptive and disrespectful. Son feels he is singled out unfairly, the only one being called out at a table where everyone was talking. (Yes, he admits to talking and goofing around. The problem is the added edge of being singled out for reprimand when you already feel a bit of an outsider.)

What’s complicated is that all of the adults in the situation are well intentioned, culturally experienced white people who sees things very differently than Son.

I sincerely believe every one of the adults involved are doing their best. They’ve been through the training. They even have family across racial lines.

But if I am honest, if I am courageous, I must admit that I can’t recognize in myself any deep-seeded bias I might have not yet discovered. Have I been more protective because my son is black? You bet. Do I worry more? Absolutely.  Of course I’m biased, so why aren’t they as well.

And what parent of a young black man growing up in this country isn’t doing her or her best to help their son build the necessary armor and savvy to keep them safe out in a world who expects them to be either thugs or Oreos.

So tomorrow I will do my best to have one of the courageous conversations that ends in smoothing the way and keeping Son on the right track. I will follow Dr. King’s teachings and begin with a compassionate heart.

And tonight I’m going to meditate on the challenge of self knowledge. Can we ever see into our subconscious motivations and their resulting actions?