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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Campus Crossroads

I’m standing in a busy crossroads on campus, bewildered. Which way to go to find my classroom? People stream by me with purpose, laughing, reading. They all know where they’re going. I wrack my brain and cannot for the life of me remember how to get there. Which path should I take? 

Is that the building? I know it’s late. In the sudden awareness that I’m going to miss class, I also realize I haven’t studied for today’s test. The onrush of anxiety jolts me awake and I realize I’m 48, newly divorced, with no job and two small children to support. 

The anxiety clenching my heart is the fear that I won’t find my direction and land on my feet. That I won’t be able to successfully navigate this new adult experience. And I feel 18 again, putting my life together for the first time. 

But unlike my 18-year-old nightmare, I can draw on my experience and take a breath. Remind myself, I don’t have to know all the answers right now. My new life will emerge one step at a time.